


The Two Of Them

by Marmeladeskies



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mental Illness, PTSD, andrew gets hurt, but you will suffer, it's fluffy in the end i promise, therapy helps, they're so good together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11379897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marmeladeskies/pseuds/Marmeladeskies
Summary: It's a year after Neil has been kidnapped. Andrew and Neil both feel like shit, and because neither of them is good at communication, something bad happens.(I promise it ends well, but it's really angsty and sad before that.)





	The Two Of Them

**Author's Note:**

> So, I got this prompted on tumblr (marmelade-sky.tumblr.com) but it didn't feel right to put it into my other prompt fill collection.  
> Enjoy the Angst™ ...and come visist me on tumblr! :)

They should have known better.

Andrew should have known better.

Neil should have known better.

But they did it anyway.

 

-

 

It starts with both of them being in a weird headspace. It’s some days before the anniversary of Neil’s abduction, and both of them are feeling antsy. Andrew wakes from nightmares about finding Neil dead on the street instead of finding his bag, which progress into nightmares about Drake abducting Neil. 

Neil dreams about people burning marks into his skin, about Lola’s voice and his father’s axe. 

They are like zombies with dark rings under their eyes, limbs heavy and brains clouded. 

Neil knows Andrew doesn’t want to be touched, and so he tries to hold back.

Andrew knows Neil is craving touches and cuddles, and so he tries to give too much. 

They lose themselves in the desperation to be there for each other, and it doesn’t end well.

 

-

 

They’re on the roof and smoking, and Neil keeps giving Andrew those little looks he thinks Andrew doesn’t notice. They’re sickly desperate and cute and it makes Andrew want to shove him off the roof. Neil is stupid, so stupid, to look at him like this. He could kill him any moment, or act like Drake and the others had towards him, and Neil wouldn’t stand a chance. Bee would call that pathological thoughts, but Andrew can’t fucking help them. Fuck Bee. Fuck Neil. Neil could easily find someone else, even though he says he doesn’t swing. What if it’s a lie? What if Neil notices that it’s not true one day, and wants to expand his horizon and fuck other people? Andrew would have to kill those people. The thought makes his throat clog up with rage. But someone else would be much healthier for Neil. Andrew can’t give Neil what he needs, like right now. He can see it in Neil’s eyes that all Neil craves right now is bodily contact, kisses, hand holding. And he’s right, oh so right, because a moment later, Neil leans over and asks in a small voice, “Andrew…? Yes or no?” and his pinky touches Andrew’s. 

Andrew stubs out his cigarette and pulls Neil into his lap and into a rough kiss that makes their teeth clank together. Neil pushes at his chest lightly, but not hard enough to shove him away. Andrew knows exactly that this kind of kiss isn’t the one Neil wants right now. He wants it soft and sweet, both things Andrew can’t give because he’s not worthy of anything soft and sweet. 

He flips them over so Neil is on his back and Andrew is hovering over him, hands holding on to Neil’s arms. Neil looks up at him like a deer in the headlight. 

“Trying to forget your nightmares?”, Andrew asks, his voice dry, feeling like sand in his mouth. 

Neil’s eyebrows furrow and he looks confused and Andrew just wants to punch him.

“I heard you, last night. You said my name.”, he goes on and no, he needs to stop because Neil’s eyes dart over his face insecurely, “Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. You were waiting for me to rescue you. Even in your dream.” 

“Andrew-”, Neil starts, going limp under him, but Andrew doesn’t let him go.

“Shh.”, Andrew shushes him, “…why do you trust me so much? Huh? I let you down. I didn’t get to you in time.” 

Neil now looks like a deer in the headlights again, and whispers, “No, you did, Andrew-”

“You’re stupid, Neil. You left a dangerous place and came running right back to me. You know, I could be like your father if I wanted to.” Darkness was throbbing in Andrew’s chest. 

Neil is staring up at him in shock. “Andrew-”

“I’ve killed people. And I could do it again, who knows? Maybe I’d even enjoy it? I know the right people to start a fucking mob on my own. Don’t you think that would be fun?”

“Andrew, stop saying things like this.”, Neil whispers but Andrew pushes himself lower down on Neil, putting more weight on the hands which are holding Neil’s arms down. 

“I could cut off your legs too, if I wanted to.”, he says, and reaches down with one hand quickly, grabbing Neil’s knee.

That’s what it takes.

“No!”, Neil pants out and uses his free hand to push hard at Andrew’s shoulder, bringing him off balance. And Andrew wants him to, he wants Neil to hit him and scream at him and leave to never return again. Pipe dream.

He rolls to his back, so close to the edge of the roof that he almost falls, and watches Neil take several steps back from him, arms wrapped around himself, expression hard and closed off. 

“Fuck off.”, Andrew whispers with a smile. 

 

-

 

Neil can’t forget it. He can’t forget the cruel way Andrew talked to him on the roof. He knows it’s because the time of the year, and he can tell himself it’s because Andrew’s in an awful headspace right now, but so is Neil, and instead of looking for Andrew right after the incident, trying to make up with him, he doesn’t. 

 

-

 

Andrew doesn’t go to practice and ignores his phone. 

He tells Bee what happened. She asks him how he thinks Neil is feeling right now, and if he thinks they can talk this out. Andrew doesn’t say anything for the rest of the appointment.

 

\- 

 

Neil feels like shit. 

In practice, everything goes wrong. They lose their game on friday, and Neil storms off without a word to anyone. 

Everyone is concerned.

 

-

 

Something else happens some days after. 

Andrew decides to go to the roof to smoke at three in the morning, because he can’t sleep anyway, and maybe he can just jump off the roof. It wouldn’t kill him, but it would hurt enough to momentarily forget the pain in his chest which has been eating a hole through him since the day Neil stopped talking to him.

He goes up, climbs through the window, and halts in shock when he sees Neil perched on the edge of the roof. He’s smoking, too. Andrew is frozen, until he hears soft sniffles and sees Neil wipe at his eyes. 

He turns around and bolts back inside. He punches the wall hard enough to break his middle finger. 

 

-

 

Abby sends him to Bee for emergency councelling the next day. 

Andrew is quietly sipping his hot chocolate, finger in a bandage, while Bee rambles in her soft voice, about nothing in particular, like she sometimes does when he doesn’t talk at all.

Halfway through the session, there’s a loud, heavy knock on the door. Bee looks surprised and slightly confused, noone ever interrupts her appointments. 

Andrew turns his head to look who’s bold enough to disturb them.

Hot cocoa seeps through his pants when he drops the mug.

“You fucking idiot.” Neil storms into the room and falls to his knees in front of him. His hands hover over Andrew’s injured hand, not touching him, but clearly wanting to. “You fucking shitty idiot, Andrew Minyard.”, he repeats, and for the second time ever, Andrew is speechless. Neil’s brows are furrowed and his nose is scrunched up and he looks so angry, so angry that Andrew hurt himself. Andrew can’t look at him longer than a few seconds, because Neil is concerned for him with so much passion. 

Bee smiles softly into her own mug and leaves them alone. 

“I hurt you.” Andrew’s voice is hollow.

Neil nods and looks up at him, cold fire in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have asked you. I knew you weren’t feeling well. I hurt you just as much.”

Andrew shakes his head and wants to object, but Neil doesn’t let him. “I was mad at myself, more than at you. I should have known better. You, as well, but neither of us is innocent here.” Neil’s jaw hardens and he slowly stands up. “We’re going to deal with this. I won’t let either of us pull out of this-”, he gestures between them, “because we’re scared of ourselves and our past.” He turns to face Bee, who looks at him calmly. 

“Are you able to have both of us?” 

Andrew’s hand clenches around his mug. Bee smiles happily and nods. “Yes. Just come with Andrew to his next appointment.” 

Neil gives one short, hard nod and then flops down on the chair next to Andrew. 

 

-

 

In the end, they work through it.

It hurts, it hurts so fucking much, but they manage.

Two weeks after the incident, they hold hands again.

Two months after the incident, they kiss again.

Three months after, Andrew comes up one morning and hugs Neil and Neil goes rigid in shock for a second before melting into the hug.

The team is collectively breathing again.

They win their next games. 

They get better together. 

The two of them.


End file.
